Unapologetic Bibliophile

Many lesbian-identified women settle comfortably within a label that describes and validates their masculinity. Butch, Stud, AG, etc. 

Often times, you see a couple with two masculine identified women. ButchxButch, StudxStud, AGxAG or variations of the above. The common denominator here is the attraction between two individuals who strongly* identify with female masculinity. These individuals face a ridiculously high level of discrimination within the gay community. (I’m guilty of it myself, despite my own attraction.)

Masculine4Masculine relationships between women are so quickly dismissed in the community as a “bro-mance” or a fling, that often there is no outside validation.

For a group or community that has battled against an outside society’s continuous efforts to force them to validate their OWN relationships, it’s a little ridiculous that this problem exists in the first place.

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Heteronormativity dictates that only a masculine/feminine dynamic can be socially acceptable, aka femme/butch, femme/stud, femme/AG, other.

These strong stereotypes within the gay community based off of what a perceived lesbian couple “should look like” indicate a backwards-sort-of homophobia. 

The stigma attached to the dual female masculinity attraction is often compared to “two gay guys kissing”. How awkward to think that within the gay community, we still find ourselves trapped within the mindset of heteropatriarchy. 

Heteropatriarchy - A system of control in which straight men arrogate economic, social, political, and cultural power to themselves, and derogate and demonize everything they associate with femininity within themselves, within other men, and within women, in order to justify and maintain this power.

Attraction is attraction. What more can be said? Being a lesbian does not require an attraction towards another woman who’s identity is perceived as the “opposite” of hers.

Cut out all of that extra shit.

Straight up, a lesbian is about being attracted to other women. Not all women, but women, nonetheless. 

Studs, AGs, Butches and those who lean towards masculinity on the gender scale are still ultimately women.

Often, a question I see kicked up is What about in the BEDROOM? How can two dominant personality types sexually relate?

Not all masculine women are dominant, much like how not all feminine women are submissive. Each person has their own sexual preference and comfort zone, irregardless of their individual masculine/feminine identity. 

While in a relationship, it’s not just about sex. Not for heterosexual couples, and not for homosexual couples.

here’s a thought: Women who share similar balances of femininity and masculinity may be able to connect and relate to eachother easier because of these similar mind sets.

At the end of the day, what women do in their own bedroom is between them, not anyone else. 

This internalized homophobia that is infecting the gay community can only be destructive. Embrace the things you do not understand and conquer ignorance.

Shunning women because of their attractions is cutting out a limb of the gay community that will only cripple us as a whole.

“Strength is in numbers, not in separatism.”

Fidensmind at Writing.com